As uncomfortable as the thought of going on a first date makes you feel, first dates are actually super important things! It might sound clichéd, but first impressions really last. A first date is also your chance to discover whether or not this is a person who could actually fit into your life in the long run.
But figuring out what to ask someone the first time you go out together can be really difficult! What kind of a question is “too deep”? What if you come across as “too boring” with the usual questions about their job and family?
Well, that’s what I’m here for! As a relationship coach and expert who has had the chance to work with literally thousands of couples worldwide, I’m ready to share with you some of my findings!
On a first date, it’s important to balance between keeping things light and playful, while at the same time gathering all the necessary information you need in order to decide whether or not that person is relationship material.
Lots of people tell you to avoid things such as politics, religion, finances, or discussing previous relationships; but in some cases, it’s totally reasonable to ask about such topics — considering you’re willing to be honest and keep an open mind.
So without further ado, here are 7 Crucial Questions You Should Ask on A First Date:
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Ask Them if They Make Their Bed Every Morning 🛏
In all honesty, even the best of us can be a little bit lazy at times, but if you’re a total neat freak and would like to date someone who is on the same page with you (since you might eventually be living together), then this might be a pretty important factor! And plus, it can tell you a lot more about your date in general!
The way in which they respond can tell you a lot about their need for cleanliness, order, organization, discipline, and rigidity. Besides, you’ll also get to figure out whether or not they’re a morning person, or how long it takes them to get up and ready in the mornings — something which can, in turn, tell you how high-maintenance they are.
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Find Out What Regrets They Have 😔
If you’re not afraid to share your regrets, embarrassing moments, or shameful experiences, the other person is in a more vulnerable position — and this is a method of building intimacy in the early stages of a relationship. Over time, it can be this very kind of intimacy which is a foundation for building a long-term relationship.
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Ask About Their Values and Priorities 🏆
As broad as this topic may be, it gives you a chance to decide how far you want to take these kinds of questions. Are you interested in finding out what their moral views and religious beliefs are, or would you prefer finding out more about their work-life balance? Whatever you go with, their answers can really show you a lot about who they are.
Bear in mind, this doesn’t have to be a serious set of questions, but even questions such as, “What makes you happy?” or “What’s your favorite way to spend your free time?”
Real compatibility comes from a combination of shared values mixed with just the right level of chemistry. Don’t only focus on where you see yourself in one, five, or ten years time — that’s only a small part of the puzzle.
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Ask Them What They Like To Do on The Weekends 🏌️♂️
Finding out how the other person enjoys spending their days off — in addition to what their usual work day looks like — will, in turn, assist you in finding out more with regards to their interests, priorities, and how they like to socialize. Again, all of these are important elements to have knowledge of when deciding whether or not the two of you are compatible; or if your social lives will be.
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Ask Them Where They See Themselves in 5 Years Time 🗓
Asking someone what their ideal life would look like in 5 years time is actually something I ask my clients in my counselling sessions. It helps me identify their goals, and their answer helps flesh out what their priorities are at that current moment — such as career, family, finances, and living location. It also “triggers” people to think about greater goals and aims for their lives.
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Ask Them What Kind of Family and Childhood They Had 👨👩👧👧
Although pretty basic chatter, the answers to these questions can be rather revealing. Try asking about who they’re closest to — just so you can get a little bit more information about the relationships in their lives. In terms of their childhood, you’ll probably get some clues as to how their past has shaped their present.
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If All Else Fails, Ask Them About The Worst Date They Ever Went On! 🙈
If they answer back with: “This one” — then you’re in trouble! But generally, this leads to some light-hearted laughter and a shared laugh together. Just remember to be prepared to describe your worst date, as well.
Having a laugh with someone is a fantastic way to see if you share the same sense of humor — something else which is also important in a relationship.
