5 Subtle (But Toxic) Habits Stopping You From Moving on After A Breakup

Regardless of whether you were in a relationship with someone for 6 months or 6 years — moving on after you break up can be a really difficult and painful experience. You get used to having your partner to go through life with, making personal jokes, and dreaming about your future together. So when things come to a grinding halt, you may be unsure of how to navigate life and exactly what to do next; even more so if the breakup came out of the blue, or was traumatic in some way.

💔A breakup can trigger a multitude of feelings, such as hurt, loneliness, or abandonment. 💔

If this sounds like a familiar theme to you, chatting to a therapist, friends, or family can be a massive help. Something else helpful can be refocusing your energy back towards yourself, and your own individual goals. Make sure you get enough rest, and intentionally look for ways to move forward. For example, creating a few personal goals for yourself can be a wonderful “distraction.” 

Even if you have your sights set on positivity, though; it’s still all too easy to fall back on old habits and accidentally do things which make it difficult to move on.

I’ve put together a list of things you need to be on the lookout for and consciously try to avoid; so here are 5 Subtle (But Toxic) Habits Stopping You From Moving on After A Breakup:

❌1. Texting Them Frequently

Whether they are or aren’t responding back to you is beside the point; but keeping in contact with your ex can be a really big and painful problem.

Frequent communication with them keeps an inkling of hope alive that there’s a possibility you might get back together. It also inhibits you from learning how to live and deal without them in your life. 

If you’re serious about attaining your own happiness, consider deleting their number and focusing on other areas of your life at this current moment. Trust me, once you’re no longer checking your phone or expecting to hear from them; you’ll feel 100X better!

❌2. Sticking To Your “Old” Routine

Creating an entire new life for yourself after a breakup isn’t easy, but switching up your routine a bit can be extremely helpful when it comes to moving forward.

Let’s say you used to go to a specific coffee spot with your ex every day before work; well, now is the perfect time to find a brand new favourite place! If you normally walked past their house on your way back from the gym, now it’s time to map out a different route. You get the picture.

The same goes for any restaurants, bars, movie theatres, or museums that you and your ex used to frequent together. If there are certain places that bring back bad memories — avoid going there! This is not just about being nostalgic every so often; it’s a habit that could be holding you back living your life.

❌3. Constantly Checking Their Social Media 

Because you’ve grown accustomed to having your partner in your life, it might take you some time to break the habit of checking their social media channels. The next time you reach for your phone, try your best to stop yourself.

As tempting as it might be, don’t keep these kinds of secret tabs on them by looking them up on Instagram or Facebook. The reason you’re probably doing this is to see whether or not they have, themselves, “moved on.” The reality is, though, there’s absolutely nothing beneficial about seeing an ex smiling next to their new boyfriend or girlfriend, or having a cocktail in a bar without you!

Alternatively, consider unfollowing them on all platforms (and if things are seriously bad, you might want to delete those apps for a little while, too; just so you don’t take a look “by mistake”. 

Once you stop looking at their face every single day, eventually you won’t even be thinking about what they’re doing!

❌4. Hanging On To Old Memories

If possible, be careful not to surround yourself with old momentos or artifacts from your previous relationship. For example, unless you really want to experience pain, don’t think about curling up in bed with their old shirt.

If you want to move on, get rid of old photographs, texts, and gifts from your ex; and consider doing so in an almost ceremonial or ritual-like way.

This is a fantastic approach, as it’ll assist you in honouring everything that happened, while also allowing yourself “permission” to truly move on. You might want to burn a love letter, donate an old dress they gave you, or get a friend to come over and help you delete old photos. 

Whatever it is you need to do; make sure you do it with the intention of ending the relationship for good!

❌5. Replaying Everything That Went Wrong

It’s natural (and, in fact, healthy) to spend some time thinking about your relationship and what exactly went wrong; but you should only be doing this to a certain extent! After a certain point, this is one habit that will keep you stuck and living in the past.

Don’t beat yourself up too much about what happened. Too often, people tend to go over every tiny detail of the relationship, and every action of their ex, in order to analyse whether or not there were any red flags, in hindsight. The key, though, is to learn from these experiences — not torture yourself with the memories of them.

If you ever catch yourself going into a downward spiral and overthinking all that happened, practice some form of immediate distraction. Either call a friend, or go outside for a quick walk. And if the problem persists, don’t be afraid to reach out to a therapist! 

Be sure to stay conscious and aware of any habits like the five mentioned above; as they may, in fact, be stopping you from creating a beautiful, brand new life for yourself! 

If you’re obsessively thinking about your ex, or reliving what did (or didn’t) happen — it’s time for you to shake things up! Do what’s right for you — go to counselling, spend more time with your friends, and create an entirely new routine for yourself. Execute these steps and I guarantee, in no time, you’ll have a whole new lease on life! 😉