The human brain naturally craves novelty and it rewards it with dopamine — a feel-good hormone regulating motivation and drive. Being stuck with the same-old, same-old means you get less dopamine and become bored.
Besides the obvious advice to “try something new in the bedroom”, there are a number of other things you can do to get your sex life better than it ever was before!
Here are 3 Easy Steps to Reignite the Sexual Spark in Your Marriage:
#1 Set the Stage for Constructive Communication
The one thing that makes or breaks couples is their communication. You have to talk about relationship issues in order to solve them. A waning sexual interest is obviously not fun to talk about, but it’s super real; so denial – or silence – will only make things much worse in the long run.
There are three parts to a constructive conversation in your relationship:
(i) Be open & upfront
You’re talking to your (potential) life partner. Cut the crap, and get to the point. Now, I don’t mean you should be in-your-face and inconsiderate; but open yourself up and bring the real issues to the fore. The obstacles that pop up on your path to mutual joy can only be resolved by talking about them. Be 100% honest about what’s getting you down, and remain open to finding new ways of overcoming the issue.
(ii) Listen with empathy & without judgment
Being open and honest is a two-way street. If you’re on the receiving end, provide a safe space where the other can voice their thoughts and make themselves vulnerable. Listen without interruption, put yourself in their shoes before you speak, and don’t judge.
(iii) Keep an “us vs. the issue” mindset
Whenever you face an obstacle as a couple, remember that you two have to solve it together. It’s not about who’s right or who gets his way, so stop the whole “you vs. me” and think “us vs. the issue” instead. Emotionally charged conversations with your romantic partner can get heated, so remind each other of this frequently.
#2 Do Something Novel Together
Your brain craves dopamine rushes, but it doesn’t care too much about what triggers them. Do something novel that you’re both excited about, and your brain will release that highly sought-after hormone cocktail — boosting your motivation and libido!
Take a cooking class together, go out ice-skating, break out of an escape room, or go for dinner at a trendy new restaurant. The possibilities are limitless here. Once you’ve found excitement outside of the bedroom, it’ll be way easier to take it back home — if you know what I mean!
#3 Maintain Your Game
Why do some couples thrive and flourish over the years, while others wither under the ravages of time?
>>> It’s all about the mindset.
If you view your relationship as a safe and secure haven that you don’t need to spend time investing in, you open the door to routine and complacency. Both of these things kill your sexual desire and the relationship as a whole.
It’s pretty easy to fall into this trap. In the beginning, you can’t take your mind off one another; but after a while, life comes knocking at your door again and demands attention, so you move the relationship to the end of your priority list. It’s your decision if you keep up the investment, appreciation, and excitement; or let it become the same old, same old.
Courting, flirting, and seducing should not stop once you get into a relationship! In fact, this is where it really begins. Get back on top of your game like you were at the beginning! Remind your partner just how much fun things can be with you!
Like a huge fire, a relationship can be ignited by a single spark. But it can also die down if you don’t fuel it with new pieces of wood!
The Biggest Perk of a Long-Term Relationship
We’re often quick to name the sexual downsides of a long-term relationship — such as sexual boredom or limitations. For a lot of couples, these are real and tangible issues compromising their sex life; but it doesn’t have to be that way!
Sleeping with 50 different people will surely provide you with a variety of adventures and memories; but no one-night-stand or affair can ever reach the intimacy of a long-lasting and loving relationship.
As a long-term couple, this depth of experience is your number one asset! The trust, comfort, and intimacy you build are your foundation to overcome challenges and make your relationship thrive!
My challenge to you: Build more with what you have instead of always wanting more. ❤️?
